Self-Reflection
The other day while flipping through Pinterest, I stumbled upon a quote which said, ‘Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted - it is an intimate date with yourself.’ I was stuck thinking on this one for quite a while after because I know for a fact that I can so easily devalue the importance of investing into myself, yet looking at this mental picture given in the quote, I could suddenly see self reflection from a brand new perspective.
Invested time in a relationship with a loved one has high value because the more time spent with this person, the better you get to know their character, their likes and dislikes and the personal values that they hold high. In the same way, so do you need time to develop your self awareness and build into your emotional wellness. Let's take a look at this from the perspective of building a relationship with yourself - because how can you be fully satisfied emotionally and mentally if you are not meeting your own needs? And how do you know what these needs are if you are not getting to know yourself on a deeper level?
Keep in mind that the main goal you should aim to achieve at the end of your self reflection session is that you have learned something more about yourself, about a situation that you are in, have just been through, or are even just approaching - and most importantly, you become closer to you!
So take a step back and give yourself the time and space that you need to get to know more about yourself in this way. If this means that in being honest with yourself, you find things that need to be removed or changed, it is not all bad. You need to choose to see it as an opportunity to build the weakness into an area of strength, or a failure into a stepping stone. Use the opportunity to make a list of small steps that will be easy to commit to (do not try to over commit), and then begin to action them. This way, you can use some of these action items to measure your progress next time you sit down to self reflect.
Creating a reflection journal is important because it gives you the opportunity to learn from your failures and experiences. It also assists in clarifying your strengths and opportunities for growth. From the reflection you will gain context about yourself to make better choices which will unlock keys to help you reach your greater goal. This type of inner digging empowers you to uncover your hidden dreams, as well as the hooks that have been holding you back from taking the next step. With the increased perspective that you gain through this process, you will have a greater understanding, and will therefore be more confident navigating your way through life.
If you don't already have a journal, you can use this link here to take a look at the Everyday planner that I have created. The Self Reflection journal comes free as part of this purchase. Alternatively, grab yourself a notebook and a pen, and take some time out to work through a few of the questions below to begin your self-reflection. Be honest with yourself - this is not for anyone else, but to help you know you.
I want you to approach these questions as if it is the very first time that you are answering them. Don’t be quick to write from subconscious habit or routine. Keep in mind that we want to know ourselves ‘more intimately’. So take time to think about the questions you choose and then begin to write. There is no wrong or right answer. The right answer for you may take a little while to determine because sometimes we naturally just default to a certain thing, and don’t even know why. Which is one of the benefits of self reflection because you can start to learn more about the 'Why's' in your life. So when you first begin with the questions understand that you may not know the answer outright - but you can rest assured that the seed to discovery in this area will be planted. So don't get deflated or discouraged. this is how the process begins because now you are aware of the fact that you need to be looking out for hints that you give to yourself in answer to these questions. You will notice how over the next couple of days, you will start becoming so much more aware of these hints. And the funny thing is that you would have been giving yourself these hints all along… but only when you desire to search deeper, will you unlock that area of your self discovery and become more aware of how you are naturally responding to these hints.
Remember reflection can be done around a situation that you are currently experiencing, a situation you are about to enter into or even one that you are now finished walking through. Each of these stages will reveal important nuggets of gold in your self discovery path.
The Quick Reflection will be based on 4 important areas:
Using the above as a simple guide, enjoy a moment to get to know yourself. Focus on gathering a better understanding of yourself but using your experiences to investigate deeper.
I truly hope that you give this a fair chance. That you allow yourself to fully immerse into this process and don't expect huge progress only after the first reflection exercise. Give yourself grace to do a few reflections... this way you will be able to better notice how far you have come. It took me quite a while to recognize how much I learned about myself through reflection, but now that I see the value in it, I make it part of my routine - at least weekly, or else when there is a need - like when I notice an experience that is stirring emotion in me.
In closing, don't try to do things the way that people expect, or because of built in defaults. Search deep and have this intimate date with yourself. You will be amazed at your potential and how close your dreams are if you just choose to work hard and go the extra mile to get it. You can achieve anything that you desire if you persevere.
Here's a short video to show how to use my Self Reflection Journal:
